» Relationships

Happy Valentine's Day to all the Strong Single Moms!!

I have NO idea why I was so ill-prepared for the inevitable Valentine’s “celebration” acts today, but I simply wasn’t ready.  I KNEW it was February 14th.  I SAW all the cards, balloons, flowers, and heart-shaped candy boxes in every store for the past several weeks.  I was even grocery shopping last night, watching men of all ages flock to the card aisle at the last minute to pick through the selection of overpriced cards with cheesy messages.  So how is it that I didn’t steel myself up for THE inevitable question today?

I guess it’s because I’m not JUST single…I’m happy and securely Single By Choice.  I CHOOSE to be without a partner rather than settling for someone who’s not quite right for me.  Do I WANT to be in a relationship and get remarried someday?  Yes!  But only to Mr. Right…not Mr. Almost Right.

As I’m walking around today as my self-confident single self, I forgot today is the one day a year I have to justify my single status.  Silly me!

And so it was that I was caught completely off guard this morning when a new business associate who doesn’t really know me asked the inevitable question after telling me the wonderful things her boyfriend did for her to celebrate:

“And what about you?  Anyone special you’ll be celebrating with tonight?” 

Ummm.  What do I say??  In the 7 years since my divorce, this is the first year that I either didn’t have my kids with me or didn’t have a boyfriend to celebrate with.  To simply say “No” seemed so out of place, so incomplete, so BEGGING for pity!  When really, pity is the LAST thing I want.  My singleness should be celebrated!  My single status should have a day of it’s own!  I think it should be called Smart Single Day.  As in….I’m smart enough NOT to settle!

Quick disclaimer:  I want to make it known that I do NOT begrudge my coupled-friends.  In fact, I am SO happy for them!  I celebrate that they found someone who suits them, who loves them completely, and whom they love in return.  I am NOT anti-man or anti-relationship.  I am simply anti-WRONG-relationship.

But I digress.

So how do you answer these types of questions?  After all, my new business-friend didn’t have bad intent.  She was being sweet and simply trying to learn more about me.  I don’t want to make her feel bad for asking, but I also don’t want to feel bad about not having a significant other every February 14th.  I’m curious what you would say!

As for me, I let a large smile break out across my face and replied,

“I’m spending Valentine’s Day celebrating with THE most special person!  Me!”

Happy Valentine’s Day to all the Strong Single Moms out there!  Or should I say, Happy Smart Single Day!!!

XOXO!

OK Ladies.  Who’s with me on this one?  I’m out with my friends and meet an interesting guy.  He and I strike up a conversation and find we have some common interests.  By the end of the evening, we exchange numbers.   A promising scenario, right?  Then it happens… (more…)

Dating can be full of fun life experiences, but only if you keep it in its proper perspective.   Too often I hear women getting ready to head on a first date, and they say that ever hopeful yet self-defeating line:

“I think this could be THE ONE!”

Ladies, if you ever hear yourself uttering those words prior to a first date, it’s time for a reality check. (more…)

Ladies, it is time to stop putting so much pressure on dating experiences. Lets start recognizing it for exactly what it is, two people trying each other on for size.

Stick with me on this analogy here. (more…)

Okay ladies. I’m listening to you. I’ve been told by too many of you that it’s time to start talking about dating, and so I am.

Before I kick this section off, though, I wanted to make something abundantly clear. The Strong Single Mom Network isn’t about “Finding Mr. Right.” It’s all about Finding Ms. Right….YOU! So as we delve into the wonderful world of romantic relationships, it is extremely important that you keep one thing in mind: Until you have a healthy relationship with yourself, you can NEVER experience a truly healthy relationship with a significant other. (Don’t worry…I know you might be tempted to forget, so I’ll be reminding you from time to time!) (more…)