The other night, I had the opportunity to take my youngest daughter out for a little one-on-one togetherness.  As the single mom of two daughters, this isn’t always an easy task to accomplish.  However, my oldest daughter was spending the night at a friend’s house, leaving me and my 8 year old with a little time together.

I wanted to make it a special evening, one that would be special and memorable without breaking the bank.  We decided to watch a movie at home.  We picked one that she absolutely loves, but her sister hates (so we typically never watch it!)  After the movie, we headed out for our new favorite treat…Tasti D-Lite.  For less than $5.00, we each get to enjoy a little treat…and an amazing one at that!  We sat outside and ate our pseudo-ice cream, and had the chance to talk about all sorts of things.

She asked about an ex-boyfriend of mine…one that was in the picture off and on for 3 years.  She couldn’t understand why we weren’t together, and why we weren’t going to get married.  I explained to her that he loved us and I loved him, but that love wasn’t enough.  That Mommy would get married ONLY when there was a man that loved me and cherished me right.  A man that loved all 3 of us and wanted to bring us happiness and joy by putting us before himself.  And a man that I felt deserved our affections…one that we can put above ourselves because he deserves it!  After all, that’s what true love is.

That’s when she said “I know.  He left us because I said……” and then she went on to recall a certain situation.  It made me realize that my little girl had been carrying around tremendous guilt about this situation…one that she truly had nothing to do with.  This opened up my eyes to a little piece of her psyche that I might never have seen had I not spent some special time devoted just to her.  I let her know that she absolutely had nothing to do with the break-up.

I then had the chance to tell her about the importance of TRUE love, and not settling.  We talked about how to love yourself, and how the relationship with yourself is so much more important with a relationship with a man.  And how it is okay to be single, and it is okay to be married….but either way, you have to be doing it for the RIGHT reasons.  It was a powerful experience, and I’ll cherish it in my heart forever!  After our treat, we went shopping.  We spent time dreaming about our future as a family of 3.  Priceless!

All of this….simply because I took my daughter on a date.  I encourage all parents to carve out some special one-on-one time with your kids.  If you only have 1 child, it may seem like you do this all the time.  But make sure you take a little time to do something special and just chat with no agenda.  Look into the heart and spirit of your child.  No distractions, no one else around, no preoccupations on your mind.

Our children are a blessing and a gift.  Yes, it’s difficult to raise them with no one else around to help.  But what of it?  Life is difficult, whether we are alone or not.  EVERY life situation has blessings, and it’s up to us to discover them.  You only get one shot at raising your children.  Make sure that when they are adults, you can look back and know that you took the time to really get to know them as children.  Savor the moments.

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